Funny and Cute story

I can only imagine....


A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall
By Shannon Popkin

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.

People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned- 3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Cosco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:

"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full . 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty?

Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh .. Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.

Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"

"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this point. "Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!" As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.

"Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?" More laughter.

I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.

"Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!"

I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. As I sheepishly opened the door, and found an open sink, I thought, Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my privacy?

But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.

(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in Grand Rapids, MI, where she no longer uses public restrooms )

RSV

All three kids just got over RSV. I noticed Tenille and Lacey getting sick on January 5th and it was just a fever, I didn't know what it was, so I absolutely hate taking my kids to the doctor unnecessarily so I decided to just turn the humidifiers on, and do all the things you should do when your kids have a fever or cold. The tylenol and ibuprofen stuff. Anyhow, then Dylan got sick, which I knew would happen because Tenille and Lacey are in a kissing phase and kiss him all the time. So, everything was going ok but I decided to call the doctor instead (she knows it's a pain for me to take them to see her so she'll usually help me over the phone) I told her Dylan was kind of weazy and she was concerned, but because that was the day that we got all of that snow, she told me to just watch him closely and if there was any break in the storm to come in to see her. We did just that and it turned out he had RSV and that we could deduce that Tenille and Lacey had the same thing. GREAT!!! So we got the booger sucker, and nebulizer for them and started giving breathing treatments and sucking out noses to get rid of the guck! It worked... I almost killed myself with 3 sick kids at home and being cooped up. Brad was gone to Cedar City. Mary was here which was a great help although. This weekend I finally got out and we went and saw the movie Juno (I love it... if you've seen it all I have to say is just one thing... "PORK SWORDS!!!!") and got a bite to eat with my honey. Well, so much for RSV, I am glad that it wasn't drug out into a long stretch, everyone got sick at once and over it at once, thank heavens! Hey, and I survived, I'm definetly not dead! I now have to break T&L from thinking they need me to hold them all the time, and need to break Dylan of waking up 3 times in the middle of the night to eat!!! AHHHH

Learning to pray

I just got this cute picture I wanted to share.

My girls love to eat and whenever I ask if they are ready for snack or dinner, or whatever, they say they are "hungi". They were already in their chairs waiting for me to put dinner on the table and they are ready to say the prayer so I got my camera (it was right by where I was standing thankfully) and got Lacey peaking! I LOVE IT! I remember this summer at my family reunion I saw a little girl just older then Tenille and Lacey folding her arms and being quiet and she was just this perfect little angel! I look at Tenille and Lacey and they are grabbing everything trying to squirm and get down to play! I was comparing her to them which I know I shouldn't do. But now they can do it too! I LOVE IT!

benefiting from my own gift!

The router table has already gotten me some REALLY nice book cases for my books! I have tons of books that I cycle through about every 3 years and re-read so if I want a book, I'll usually just buy it. But I have a lot of books and wanted Brad to make me some bookshelves, and these are they beauties!!! I LOVE THEM, Thanks honey!

Solids! Jumperoos! and Highchairs!

I thought Dylan was such a fan of the bottle that I wouldn't get him to eat solids. Nope, just the opposite! HE LOVES THEM! Now, I can hardly get him to drink his bottles!! We have tried rice, rice with smooshed up Bananas, squash, sweet potatoes, pears, and applesauce. I have not found one he won't eat. He just devours it! So, I finally got the high chair upstairs again and Lacey wants to use it instead of her booster (shocker). She loves the exersaucer, the swing, laying under Dylans mobile, and now wants the high chair again, and the jumperoo! I got that up here last night too and here are a few pics of Dylan playing in it. I also have a few of Tenille and Lacey in it when they were younger!

Drought??? No drought this summer! Hopefully!

We have gotten a lot of snow this year so far. This was about 2 weeks ago, just tons of snow that the plows missed on the street. Today we also got hit with about 4 inches which made it so Brad couldn't move his stuff to Cedar City early this morning. He ended up leaving when there was a break in the storm, about 3 PM. He was planning on leaving at 5 am. Yep, Brad has now officially moved down to Cedar City and has left us behind until he can find us a place to live and we can sell this house. I am nervous and excited all at once. I think it will be ok, and I've already made it a goal to not be such a homebody and to reach out to other people and make new friends! Maybe take a few painting classes at SUU and Join a book club, or START a book club since I love to read! It will still be a few months until we will be joining Brad, but I am looking forward to a change!

Just some Misc pics of Christmas doings

Tenille in her new hat. Lacey also got one, but she's such a busy body, I didn't get a picture.


Dylan in his new hat from his Cousins! Thanks Cousins!


Lacey wanted nothning to do with the big guy!


Tenille said Yum!!! chocolate!!!


Dylan says, ah, ho hum, who cares what's going on, just as long as i'm fed and have a clean diaper!

Christmas

Christmas this year was very laid back.. I, of course got a new washer and dryer along with a new coat and new silverware. I gave Brad a new Atlas, and a VERY cool router table that my dad was kind enough to make for me! (thanks dad!!!) The funniest thing, Brad and I give each other a gag gift every year as a tradition. I gave him something that was pretty fun, and has multi purposes, a Tom and Jerry cartoon. He is constantly watching cartoons on the TV and invariably, it is Tom and Jerry. He gave me something that was so embarrassing. Have you ever seen those plastic testicles that hang down off of a car or truck hitch? Well, I hadn't until just recently. I was driving home from Brad's jobsite and I pulled over and texted him that I saw something just discusting! Anyhow, he said "I want a pair of those for Christmas." I said, "NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" So, guess what I got... Some "Bullsballs!!!" The most embarrassing thing EVER! My parents were videoing me opening this gift. He had them hidden inside of a new rice cooker. (another funny gag gift because I CAN"T cook rice!! It always turns out soupy or too dry, or mushy or sticky, not the way rice is supposed to be) Anyhow, he had me read a poem that went along with it that his sister Shanna made up. Needless to say I was very embarrassed. It goes as follows: (hopefully somebody doesn't turn me in for being crude.)
Testicles

Take one testicle that is very large. Hold with both hands. Massage gently and Nice. Add your zestiest spice. Press hard with your femur, then place in the steamer. You'll know when done because of the run. Take out and hope you enjoyed!!! (it's a good thing my kids aren't older, or else I would have been REALLY embarrassed!!! The funniest thing about it is that Brad kept asking me what it meant.



Brad's niece Jen checking out the goods.

Anyhow, that was Christmas for Brad and I. Tenille and Lacey got some toys and I learned that you only get them 1 or 2 things because they don't have the attention span to open gift after gift. So, they were done, so I just took the gifts that were unopened and am saving them for their birthday! Dylan got some clothes and a toy named Dylan the duck. It hangs from his car seat and he loves it! We had Mary and Lonnie (Brad's parents) here (they do live with us!!) My parents and Ben and Jake came over too just because they were by themselves, it was kindof the off year. Mike got to call from Russia and I got to talk to him which was a lot of fun! He seems like he's doing really well in the mission field. We had traditional Brunch Gibbs style! LIttle Smokies (we substituted Bran muffins for Cinnamon rolls) and Fruit cocktail. Christmas just isn't Christmas without brunch! The night before we had Mike and Cheryl's family (Brads Brother) over to make homemade pizzas and just visit! It was very fun and relaxing not to go anywhere, just to hang out with our little family at home!

Washer update

The new washer and dryer!!! Not only do I love it, but the girls do too, they are watching it for 10-15 minutes at a time. Heck, with their attention span, that is GREAT!!! This picture I got shows that Brad is infatuated too.!!!

Blog problems

I have gotten on the computer a few times and have been experiencing problems. I will try to upload my photos and 9 times out of 10 they won't load, it acts like it is still in the process but then it doesn't complete, hence the reason I haven't been putting anything on my blog for a few weeks. Hopefully someone out there can help, or maybe send me somewhere that I can get help. Maybe it's because I am running a mac, who knows.....

posing for the camera

Lacey and Tenille have found it's quite fun posing for the camera, here are a few goofy photos we got. On a side note, that black thing Tenille has in her hand is Brad's Phone. He puts on the music and the girls carry it around like it's a boom box or something grooving to the music. Just way cute!

Sledding

So, Christmas Day my mom came back over to my house and decided to take the girls sledding. Only a few problems, they wouldn't leave their gloves on and kept falling in the snow which made what should have been a fun experience into a not so fun experience. Tenille enjoyed herself though, she ended up throwing a fit when we had to "make" her come in. It was fun all in all though.

picking things up!

Dylan is now to the point of picking things up. I just thought I'd post a few pictures!